Day 92 – A realisation

My partner (featured image) was usher for his friend’s wedding this weekend and I was full of tonsillitis, so couldn’t drink. It gave me lots of time to think about the day and enjoy the special event of our friends. It also made me super excited for my friend’s wedding.

While watching the day unfold, it occurred to me that I have been counting my days. The title of this blog is “100 days to banish the fat bridesmaid” and it is only now that I realise how stupid this was.

I have a far bigger journey than 100 days. I will not achieve my health, mind, self-esteem or body confidence goals in 100 days. This is about me as a person and life as a whole. Not a small segment of a few weeks.

On reflection, I put far too much pressure on myself. I genuinely had visions of me looking like some supermodel in a bridesmaid dress in just 100 days. Why didn’t you tell me I was mad? Why didn’t you point out the insanity of this request and pressure I was putting on myself?

I have now realised that in order to achieve my life goal of being healthy and understanding my body – it may take years not days. These 100 days have been a HUGE eye-opener for me. I have learnt that this is hard-work, takes commitment and pure dedication – all of which I am have and strive to achieve.

In a way, I have banished the fat bridesmaid within 100 days as I no longer see myself as this. I no longer panic about photographs or people looking at me on the day. Although, I have not lost as much weight as I would like, I have gained so much more than that.

I am now three dress sizes smaller so didn’t need any special changes to my bridesmaid’s dress, it just slid right on over my head at the fitting – woo hoo! This may seem like a small amount but it feels great to me. More importantly, I feel confident in myself.

I don’t mind that people will look at me or that I may spoil photographs because well, I won’t! My best friend wants me in her photographs because I am her best friend not because I look a certain way. It is a day to celebrate love, friendship and future aspirations of a great couple, not worrying about what I look like.

Which by the way, I am sure I will look great because my make up is being plastered on my a professional artist as is my hair – they can make anyone feel like a supermodel! Roll on the next 10 days!

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